Give your self time to be you!
You need to give yourself time to be you. I am not sure if every one goes through this, but I definitely fall into life traps – Following what people want me to do, or follow the pre-defined paths around me by society or the so called society norms.
It funny how I go out of my way sometimes to find and learn these defined structures which I could follow. Once I get them, I am busy disipining myself to adapt them wholeheartedly. Guess what, I lose my self. My creativity is totally lost. Then I am sad and upset withmyself for letting the system trap me like this.
It was me more than anyone else.
Even if following set ways is good, we still need to give ourselves off days.
I am so busy following fixed ways – at least I am busy trying. But it just dawned on me, that I need to give myself time to be me. Time where I can flow freely – at least somewhat. I can not feel trapped all the time.
Let me tell you why I am thinking of all this today.
Our every day is so defined
I meditate everyday. I do Sadhguru’s taught shambhavi kriya, then meditation by shri mataji (Sahaj Yog). If I have time I go for pranayam by Ramdevji – kapalbhati, anulom vilom, sarvang asana and then halal asana.
I take care of my business, family (kids, husband, dog) . Work work work. Eat. Go to sleep.
In business, I am busy trying to find the best processes and disciplines to follow for success. Routines and habits of successful people. Always striving to be best version of myself – at least that is what I think I am doing. On a side note, its not easy… Anyway.
At home, always trying to have a defined health regime and environment for a smooth sailing. Balancing kids, husband and a dog in itself is not less then fighting a battle. Finding the ideal practices say for example what time to eat and sleep. Another example is, Clean kitchen in the night before you sleep so next morning is happier for everyone. So on and so forth.
This whole takes a toll on you
I should say on me for sure. Its my story so I will talk about me. I am sure others around me or even you must be going thru something like this or may be not. On a separate note, we all think we are all different, but we all are very much alike… anyway.
Back to the point I was trying to emphasize.
Give yourself time to be you.
With all the stuff going on around us, we forget to be us –
I forget to be me. No creative juices flowing.
I just don’t allow myself, “this time”, this free-flowing time.
A few days ago, I decided :
I am not going to working on saturdays and sundays at all. Like, really put my foot down. I mean no business or business related activity. Be more peaceful and Spend time with the family, without thinking work in the background. It started working great except for the fact that I realized I am not feeling the immense happiness or peace still. Felt like things are still pulling me in different directions.
I used to love writing, painting, singing, dancing etc when I was little. Hmmm what happened to all that now. Not sure. I thought to myself, can I do that on saturday or sunday now that I am not technically working.
Guess what, its still sounding like work. Not sure why
First there is no time inspite of calling it my off days.
Second, the moment I say I will set up my easel for painting or bring out my electric tanpura for riyaz, I feel I am limiting myself to a structure. This day this thing this time, this is what I will do. Trap!
Don’t decide beforehand when is “this time” and what exactly will you do
So today, infact, since past 2 or 3 weekends, I am trying to create time “unknowingly” – not clearly defining exactly what time. Only thing I have defined is “any time” “sometime” on the weekend. “this time” will happen when it happens, of course I had to clear out my weekend, in my head.
I will do what I feel like and just be
It could be my riyaz, painting, writing, playing with bubba, or sitting in my backyard just admiring the nature……. It could also, me meditating in the way iI really feels like at that moment. Not in the way I have prescribed for myself.
Like today:
since its my day when I allow myself to be. I sneaked a few minutes for meditation right before breakfast. I started with kapalbhati (for 15 to 20 min – i think) focusing on the mooladhar chakra and then just saw myself going into mediation easily focusing on my sahastrara chakra. Taking my energies from mooladhar to sahastrara chakra.
I took care of household things after that, feeling already happy from inside.
Then I sneaked a few moments to “write for me”. Which is like now. I am trying to write more freely and in more enjoyable way…
This is where I am headed
My plan is to try to keep finding “this time” at least on some, sorry to say, “defined” days. So I know I can allow me some time to be.
Hope you make an effort too to give yourself “this time” to be you too!!
Which in my case seem to be weekends.
Don’t be shocked when you actually get to this time
Let me tell you one thing, you might realize when you get to “this time” where you just be – you might first feel lost first.
you might be like – wow – i have this time and i can do whatever “i want”.
See what you “really want” “now”.
Remember, do not try to plan this time in advance
Your wants will also want to trap you. You might have an urge to “define” this “time” to do the long desired “activity” since your childhood. But again, do not fall for that trap either.
Just go to “this time” and flow.
You might want to just play guitar for a few minutes and then read a book or just sit quietly with a warm cup of tea in your hand and not interact with anyone.
Dwelling on w’s of “this time” before taking the plunge
First be clear on what, why etc. of “this time”.
First you have to be aware and know – you need this time
To be aware, you might have to dwell on :
What is “this time” –
“This time” is a “required” time for an everyday person for sanity. Its a must.
Why you even need “this time”
To feel happy and alive. To let real creative juices flow.
What exactly do you do in this time –
This is the time is where u don’t do anything defined. You Just Be.
Only after dwelling on the above,
You will go out of your way to extract “this time” where you can be you!!
This is just a little hack to alive, without going into the jungles or the Himalayas in discovery of you.
Let me know if it this helped you in any way.
Good Luck my friend!
Happy Sailing!
Being Inspired by Dr Wayne Dyer – Little more divine every day!
Today I listened and got inspired by talks from Dr Wayne Dyer. I did hear his name every now and then, while going through YouTube videos. Never gave it a chance.
I guess I was not open to listening to anyone new in my life.
Dr Wayne was being interviewed by a woman ( don’t remember details), some one kind of famous person too, but not known to me.
He is talking of how
Attitude is everything, so pick a good one!
Being inspired means being in spirit……..
And so many other great lessons.
I felt them all, but don’t remember all too well.
Note: Just remember, whatever i say here is my version, my understanding of his words. I might have to listen the same talk over and over to really get it completely.
The real essence of the entire video “for me” meant,
Learn to give.
Be a little more divine every day.
Questioning myself:
Sometimes i wonder how i can be so mean and selfish, but still be it.
Also, How and why do I transform myself in this mean world. But then I listen to these talks like the one from Dr Wayne. It makes me feel better and somewhat at rest.
We don’t have to transform in one day. We could do it gradually. As I heard and understood – little more divine every day!
I want to learn how to give in my own way. I want to help and love people unconditionally. I want to start from people around me. I want to be a little more divine every day.
I am writing this, so I can not take it back. I am just so inspired by Dr Wayne’s interview. He was speaking like a human. Just a better one. So thankful to Youtube for showing him in my search.
One more thing was mentioned over and over was to :
Let go of your EGO
and understand :
You have to go back to where you came from
All these talks are mentioned by all the gurus. I think what it boils down to is
Understanding the true consciousness, the real you.
I am no where close to even the bottom of the surface, but I do feel like a journey has begun.
In a nutshell
You know how they say, “Rome was not built in a day”. We have to just start….
Just wanted to share my little sweet lesson I learnt this weekend.
My take away (since this part of me could use a lot of work, to begin with)
Be little more divine every day – I want to start by giving to people in whatever possible way I can – Start with my loved ones and then spread from there.
Keep people in my prayers and be a little less selfish every day!
By Upasana Gupta
You can listen to the video directly to have your own version and take away.
Click Here to watch the video from Dr Wayne Dyer mentioned above.
Going into silence with noise around!
Every day I learn something new when I meditate. Today I realized something very interesting. It was so noisy around me. People talking on phone, Bubba barking, and what not. I decided to get to work too just like the other people in my house. Interestingly, I just couldn’t resist meditation to get away from the hustle and bustle I should say. Just to balance my self and be more aligned. Without realizing just closed my eyes. The more noisy it got, more peaceful was my meditation. This must sound funny, but its true. This has happened before also, just realized today as I am paying more attention to what is really going on and when I am doing what.
I wonder if anyone else also experienced a thing like this…..
Hoping to break free!
I feel like pouring my heart out but I guess when you write a post about it you still have to filter it to some extent. I should say to a large extent. I am basically an open person but it takes me a while before I can really get to my real self.
Past few days have been very hectic, just like the other past few days. I feel like a machine already. I do not plan to stop though. Just want to make sure I am on the right path. My aim right now is to just incorporate one discipline at a time in my life so I can be ready and prepped up when the time comes to reach heights of anything and everything.
Not sure if I am making sense, but in short I am just juggling things and burning midnight oil… hoping life will get easier once I am on the other side!
My Heritage and Culture
I was born and raised in India as a Hindu with a lot of traditions and rich culture. For some reason, I was not able to touch the traditions from close but was just able to see them and feel them as life was passing by. Today I am in USA, sitting and wondering what all I missed. I don’t even know it enough to decide if it is “my” belief or “not my” belief.
A few days ago I decided to slowly familiarize myself with whatever i could lay my hands on….. Honestly I had no idea where to begin so I am trying to tap all resources available to me.
Durga mandir is a Hindu temple very close to my house. I was not sure if I believed in it or not and always went there with a skepticism. As I mentioned, a few days ago when I decided to learn about my culture and religion, there was no better place to start from than Durga Mandir. I went thru their curriculum for the remaining year. Made a list of all the things in the upcoming month. Not bad. It might take me longer now, but at least there is a way.
I am so excited about the programs they have and the good work they are doing to spread the word. I realized faith and belief is very important for one to live, not exist. I see so much bhakti in the people visiting the mandir that I it just makes me want to have what they have. I am just glad I am exploring “my” religion which I was supposedly born with. There is so much to learn. So many great books like vedas and puranas are written which are waiting for me to get amazed by. I am just excited.
Today whether I believe its all Energy or its GOD, or its one and the same thing, I don’t know and I am not here to decide. I just want to know it all and start feeling everything inside me. One thing which I have started feeling already is, I feel much more loved and accepted on this journey than without it.
I am just so ecstatic by just realizing I am going somewhere ………
Thanks to our Ancestors and Gurus who created these rituals and traditions!
Turning point in my life!
About a month ago I attended Sadhguru’s Inner Engineering Camp. I was not sure what I was looking for from the camp – I guess a guided path to peace and something more with “no name”. It was a 2 evenings and 2 full days’ boot camp organized by Sadhguru for seekers like myself – to give them a flavor of what he things will re-wire us. Inner Engineering.
Trust me I was so blissful just being with other seekers. We started with the 2 evenings first with just warming up and listening to good self improvement talks. Then came the 2 full day sessions. Breakfast and lunch was also with other seekers in the camp. Went home every evening. These four days were the best times of my life I feel. I did something for myself. Got a lot of great pieces back home – discipline, will power, stability, …
I did not realize the impact of Shambhavi and the pre-exercises when we were practicing in the camp. At home, the next day after the camp was over, I was sorting out how I wanted to proceed from here on (change my life around). I was hoping this urge does not die down. Started Shambhavi and the exercises as told by my instructor in the camp – every morning. Now its more than a month and still doing it every morning. This discipline makes me feel “I got power”. That was not all, I quit my signature “over brewed” Tea I used to have around 3 times a day at least. A few other things are happening which I feel but I am not able to describe them yet.
After my morning Shambhavi routine I feel so ready to take on the world. Frankly its not just that I learnt this kriya (steps) but overall I got an experience at the camp of something very satisfying and I came back stronger – with the tools to help me stay stronger. I think what has happened with this experience is that I am getting ready for a better version of me. You don’t know how it is to quit Chai (“the” tea). Never had the courage to give it up. Its out now. At least as a daily habit its out of my life. Every morning I do Shambhavi like a prayer. I am getting more clear on my decisions and choices in life.
Big “Thank You” to all my Gurus (Ramdevji, Avdoot baba, Shri Mataji, Sadhguru and so many others) and their Gurus who created a path for us so our journey is blissful….
Just so grateful to everyone!
