Give your self time to be you!

You need to give yourself time to be you. I am not sure if every one goes through this, but I definitely fall into life traps – Following what people want me to do, or follow the pre-defined paths around me by society or the so called society norms.

It funny how I go out of my way sometimes to find and learn these defined structures which I could follow. Once I get them, I am busy disipining myself to adapt them wholeheartedly. Guess what, I lose my self. My creativity is totally lost. Then I am sad and upset withmyself for letting the system trap me like this.

It was me more than anyone else.

Even if following set ways is good, we still need to give ourselves off days.

I am so busy following fixed ways – at least I am busy trying. But it just dawned on me, that I need to give myself time to be me. Time where I can flow freely – at least somewhat. I can not feel trapped all the time.

Let me tell you why I am thinking of all this today.

Our every day is so defined

I meditate everyday. I do Sadhguru’s taught shambhavi kriya, then meditation by shri mataji (Sahaj Yog). If I have time I go for pranayam by Ramdevji – kapalbhati, anulom vilom, sarvang asana and then halal asana.

I take care of my business, family (kids, husband, dog) . Work work work. Eat. Go to sleep.

In business, I am busy trying to find the best processes and disciplines to follow for success. Routines and habits of successful people. Always striving to be best version of myself – at least that is what I think I am doing. On a side note, its not easy… Anyway.

At home, always trying to have a defined health regime and environment for a smooth sailing. Balancing kids, husband and a dog in itself is not less then fighting a battle. Finding the ideal practices say for example what time to eat and sleep. Another example is, Clean kitchen in the night before you sleep so next morning is happier for everyone. So on and so forth.

This whole takes a toll on you

I should say on me for sure. Its my story so I will talk about me. I am sure others around me or even you must be going thru something like this or may be not. On a separate note, we all think we are all different, but we all are very much alike… anyway.

Back to the point I was trying to emphasize.

Give yourself time to be you.

With all the stuff going on around us, we forget to be us –

I forget to be me. No creative juices flowing.

I just don’t allow myself, “this time”, this free-flowing time.

A few days ago, I decided :

I am not going to working on saturdays and sundays at all. Like, really put my foot down. I mean no business or business related activity. Be more peaceful and Spend time with the family, without thinking work in the background. It started working great except for the fact that I realized I am not feeling the immense happiness or peace still. Felt like things are still pulling me in different directions.

I used to love writing, painting, singing, dancing etc when I was little. Hmmm what happened to all that now. Not sure. I thought to myself, can I do that on saturday or sunday now that I am not technically working.

Guess what, its still sounding like work. Not sure why

First there is no time inspite of calling it my off days.

Second, the moment I say I will set up my easel for painting or bring out my electric tanpura for riyaz, I feel I am limiting myself to a structure. This day this thing this time, this is what I will do. Trap!

Don’t decide beforehand when is “this time” and what exactly will you do

So today, infact, since past 2 or 3 weekends, I am trying to create time “unknowingly” – not clearly defining exactly what time. Only thing I have defined is “any time” “sometime” on the weekend. “this time” will happen when it happens, of course I had to clear out my weekend, in my head.

I will do what I feel like and just be

It could be my riyaz, painting, writing, playing with bubba, or sitting in my backyard just admiring the nature……. It could also, me meditating in the way iI really feels like at that moment. Not in the way I have prescribed for myself.

Like today:

since its my day when I allow myself to be. I sneaked a few minutes for meditation right before breakfast. I started with kapalbhati (for 15 to 20 min – i think) focusing on the mooladhar chakra and then just saw myself going into mediation easily focusing on my sahastrara chakra. Taking my energies from mooladhar to sahastrara chakra.

I took care of household things after that, feeling already happy from inside.

Then I sneaked a few moments to “write for me”. Which is like now. I am trying to write more freely and in more enjoyable way…

This is where I am headed

My plan is to try to keep finding “this time” at least on some, sorry to say, “defined” days. So I know I can allow me some time to be.

Hope you make an effort too to give yourself “this time” to be you too!!

Which in my case seem to be weekends.

Don’t be shocked when you actually get to this time

Let me tell you one thing, you might realize when you get to “this time” where you just be – you might first feel lost first.

you might be like – wow – i have this time and i can do whatever “i want”.

See what you “really want” “now”.

Remember, do not try to plan this time in advance

Your wants will also want to trap you. You might have an urge to “define” this “time” to do the long desired “activity” since your childhood. But again, do not fall for that trap either.

Just go to “this time” and flow.

You might want to just play guitar for a few minutes and then read a book or just sit quietly with a warm cup of tea in your hand and not interact with anyone.

Dwelling on w’s of “this time” before taking the plunge

First be clear on what, why etc. of “this time”.

First you have to be aware and know – you need this time

To be aware, you might have to dwell on :

What is “this time” –
“This time” is a “required” time for an everyday person for sanity. Its a must.

Why you even need “this time”

To feel happy and alive. To let real creative juices flow.

What exactly do you do in this time –

This is the time is where u don’t do anything defined. You Just Be.

Only after dwelling on the above,

You will go out of your way to extract “this time” where you can be you!!

This is just a little hack to alive, without going into the jungles or the Himalayas in discovery of you.

Let me know if it this helped you in any way.

Good Luck my friend!

Happy Sailing!