Give your self time to be you!
You need to give yourself time to be you. I am not sure if every one goes through this, but I definitely fall into life traps – Following what people want me to do, or follow the pre-defined paths around me by society or the so called society norms.
It funny how I go out of my way sometimes to find and learn these defined structures which I could follow. Once I get them, I am busy disipining myself to adapt them wholeheartedly. Guess what, I lose my self. My creativity is totally lost. Then I am sad and upset withmyself for letting the system trap me like this.
It was me more than anyone else.
Even if following set ways is good, we still need to give ourselves off days.
I am so busy following fixed ways – at least I am busy trying. But it just dawned on me, that I need to give myself time to be me. Time where I can flow freely – at least somewhat. I can not feel trapped all the time.
Let me tell you why I am thinking of all this today.
Our every day is so defined
I meditate everyday. I do Sadhguru’s taught shambhavi kriya, then meditation by shri mataji (Sahaj Yog). If I have time I go for pranayam by Ramdevji – kapalbhati, anulom vilom, sarvang asana and then halal asana.
I take care of my business, family (kids, husband, dog) . Work work work. Eat. Go to sleep.
In business, I am busy trying to find the best processes and disciplines to follow for success. Routines and habits of successful people. Always striving to be best version of myself – at least that is what I think I am doing. On a side note, its not easy… Anyway.
At home, always trying to have a defined health regime and environment for a smooth sailing. Balancing kids, husband and a dog in itself is not less then fighting a battle. Finding the ideal practices say for example what time to eat and sleep. Another example is, Clean kitchen in the night before you sleep so next morning is happier for everyone. So on and so forth.
This whole takes a toll on you
I should say on me for sure. Its my story so I will talk about me. I am sure others around me or even you must be going thru something like this or may be not. On a separate note, we all think we are all different, but we all are very much alike… anyway.
Back to the point I was trying to emphasize.
Give yourself time to be you.
With all the stuff going on around us, we forget to be us –
I forget to be me. No creative juices flowing.
I just don’t allow myself, “this time”, this free-flowing time.
A few days ago, I decided :
I am not going to working on saturdays and sundays at all. Like, really put my foot down. I mean no business or business related activity. Be more peaceful and Spend time with the family, without thinking work in the background. It started working great except for the fact that I realized I am not feeling the immense happiness or peace still. Felt like things are still pulling me in different directions.
I used to love writing, painting, singing, dancing etc when I was little. Hmmm what happened to all that now. Not sure. I thought to myself, can I do that on saturday or sunday now that I am not technically working.
Guess what, its still sounding like work. Not sure why
First there is no time inspite of calling it my off days.
Second, the moment I say I will set up my easel for painting or bring out my electric tanpura for riyaz, I feel I am limiting myself to a structure. This day this thing this time, this is what I will do. Trap!
Don’t decide beforehand when is “this time” and what exactly will you do
So today, infact, since past 2 or 3 weekends, I am trying to create time “unknowingly” – not clearly defining exactly what time. Only thing I have defined is “any time” “sometime” on the weekend. “this time” will happen when it happens, of course I had to clear out my weekend, in my head.
I will do what I feel like and just be
It could be my riyaz, painting, writing, playing with bubba, or sitting in my backyard just admiring the nature……. It could also, me meditating in the way iI really feels like at that moment. Not in the way I have prescribed for myself.
Like today:
since its my day when I allow myself to be. I sneaked a few minutes for meditation right before breakfast. I started with kapalbhati (for 15 to 20 min – i think) focusing on the mooladhar chakra and then just saw myself going into mediation easily focusing on my sahastrara chakra. Taking my energies from mooladhar to sahastrara chakra.
I took care of household things after that, feeling already happy from inside.
Then I sneaked a few moments to “write for me”. Which is like now. I am trying to write more freely and in more enjoyable way…
This is where I am headed
My plan is to try to keep finding “this time” at least on some, sorry to say, “defined” days. So I know I can allow me some time to be.
Hope you make an effort too to give yourself “this time” to be you too!!
Which in my case seem to be weekends.
Don’t be shocked when you actually get to this time
Let me tell you one thing, you might realize when you get to “this time” where you just be – you might first feel lost first.
you might be like – wow – i have this time and i can do whatever “i want”.
See what you “really want” “now”.
Remember, do not try to plan this time in advance
Your wants will also want to trap you. You might have an urge to “define” this “time” to do the long desired “activity” since your childhood. But again, do not fall for that trap either.
Just go to “this time” and flow.
You might want to just play guitar for a few minutes and then read a book or just sit quietly with a warm cup of tea in your hand and not interact with anyone.
Dwelling on w’s of “this time” before taking the plunge
First be clear on what, why etc. of “this time”.
First you have to be aware and know – you need this time
To be aware, you might have to dwell on :
What is “this time” –
“This time” is a “required” time for an everyday person for sanity. Its a must.
Why you even need “this time”
To feel happy and alive. To let real creative juices flow.
What exactly do you do in this time –
This is the time is where u don’t do anything defined. You Just Be.
Only after dwelling on the above,
You will go out of your way to extract “this time” where you can be you!!
This is just a little hack to alive, without going into the jungles or the Himalayas in discovery of you.
Let me know if it this helped you in any way.
Good Luck my friend!
Happy Sailing!
Follow the recipe first!
Guys, follow the recipe first! I don’t just mean in cooking, but in all walks of life. See, we spend time and effort in researching the best recipe or solution to a problem. Once we narrow down to our final recipe, we need to stay focused – we need to follow the recipe to the core. That is, if we want the results as per the recipe.
We always tend to take shortcuts and still want the best results.
We keep the recipe in front of us and think we are following it but do our own tricks to it. How can we expect the results mentioned in the recipe if we don’t do exactly as told.
Yes, Recipe gives exact steps to follow
I learnt this the hard way. I was trying a pancake mix recipe – very simple and clean recipe. But my pancakes would come out tasting horrible. Tried different brands and same thing. One day, I was looking at the recipe at the back and realized I was not really following exactly as they told me to – 1, 2 and 3. I was doing 10 steps 🙂
Followed the 3 steps and there it was. Best tasting Buttermilk pancake.
What is the big deal here?
Point is to realize what is really happening:
When someone gives us a formula or a recipe – for success in business, cooking or anything for that matter, we have a tendency to tweak it and add our own flavor to it. We think we are following it but technically we are not. We need to realize this if we want the results mentioned in our recipe for success.
What did I finally learn?
My lesson learnt is, first use the recipe as it is and get the desired results, then start adding your own style to it and be super creative you.
This way we know its a sure success – which further helps us:
- It boosts our morale and we know we can do it.
- Otherwise, we might lose a lot of time in testing.
- It might cause a lot of heart ache also.
This might seem like the most obvious thing, but trust me, we all tend to make this mistake over and over.
Just do me a favor, try your best to remember "follow the recipe first!" and it will be a smooth sailing...
Ginger Tea Is Magical
I work for hours at a stretch and need something to hydrate myself. My answer was this “Magical Ginger Tea”. Simple recipe with great positive vibes!
Not sure what it is, but while working if I sip or eat something (simple of course), it keeps my creative juices flowing. Also, keeps me from dozing off.
Now that I don’t like to put just anything in my body, I keep looking for healthy options. My problem is I still need things to be yummy.
Earlier I used to just start putting something together – I mean cooking/baking/cutting etc and create something out of nowhere. Now I recently, unknowingly, started following recipes and even started working on lesser ingredients to feel the taste of each one of them and see what I like.
Great example of this is – My Magical Ginger Tea. It’s honestly a very simple recipe. Its exactly what the name suggests – Ginger and water. Tea because I drink it hot and sip it like a tea. Magical because – its got a very positive and beautiful vibe to it. May be because I know its healthy and once i drink it, its soothing…
How to make this Healthy and Magical Ginger Tea?
- Take about 1 1/2 cups of water in a pot
- Fresh ginger – wash it properly
- Grate the fresh ginger directly into the water
- Boil the water with the ginger in it – let it boil for say a min or 2 or even 3 depending on how spicy you want your ginger tea to be. I like it spicy so I put more ginger and boil it for longer time. Try it for a few times to see what levels of ginger spice do you like by changing the proportion of ginger to water and boiling.
- Turn off the stove and strain the tea into your favorite cup (it matters which cup you pour into). You will feel the magical aura of the tea!
It just calms you down.
I hear ginger has amazing anti-inflammatory properties, water is hydrating and so if your body gels well with this tea, you will be really blessed. It just has a magical affect on you. It wakes you up, calms your system and does all those things which a good cup of tea does. On top of that its super healthy.
I can not emphasize enough how this tea can help. Try it and let me know what you feel. It has become a part of my everyday, all time routine. Well, that is another benefit – you can drink this as many times as you want, without the guilt that its dehydrating you or inflaming your internal system.
Hope you make it part of your daily life, like I did, and feel great!
We Need To Be Financially Independent!
We all need to be financially independent. Here I am talking about the importance of how we all, especially women, should make sure we save up some funds individually along with common family funds.
 1. What is the “Importance” of being Financially Independent:
This might seem like a small and very obvious thing but for me its huge. I will like to expand on it, as to why I am emphasizing on it so much.
After completing my engineering degree, I took up a few IT consulting projects. Together with my husband, I successfully ran an IT business for more than 15 years. In the end, I personally still had “Zero” bank balance.
As a family and as a couple, we did have assets and bank balances but I personally did not save up anything. All good, no issues really.
But then I wanted to start my passion project – launch my jewelry brand. I realized all the money is common. I could not really pull out anything without a proof that things will work out soon and the way I predicted.
It was not so bad on the surface, but made me feel horrible.
Result was, I had to start over. I took up more IT projects and started building some new cash-flow for the new business I wanted to start.
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2. Need to plan our financial independence:
See, we are earning and we think we are financially independent. That is not enough. Just like how we plan financial security for the family, we need to do it for ourselves too, in a very subtle way, if not the whole nine yards.
The point is, early on everyone (specially we women, who are so naive ….) should know that as a family we all are “one”. In this oneness, there should be a little bit of “me” there. Just in case that me needs some breathing room. Just so it can survive and be creative.
So, if you guys are at the phase of your life that you have already learnt the lesson like I have, I guess you will be nodding your heads and agreeing with me. If you are starting out and are where I was few years ago, then hope I can make you think a little. You can just have some “me” funds set up on the side so you can call some of your own shots, if need be.
Don't lose yourself on the way!
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 3. Make sure family understands our needs:
Guys, just remember, we should not feel guilty about it. This is for sanity and is very important aspect of our life, we cannot ignore.
Making the family also aware of our needs, be it financial or any other, keeps things stress free from the get-go.
Hope you take this seriously. Idea is not to cause family issues, in fact it’s the opposite. It will also protect family future by not keeping all funds in one common bucket – managed by two different people – complete backup!
Don’t Just Wing it! Try To Feel it – An Epiphany a day
My Goal is to be here – meditating on the beach!
Every day when I wake up there is at least one thought in my mind which just sticks with me and brightens me up. I want to share that experience with everyone. If you can relate to me, that is.
Today, Just like every other day i was about to meditate and do yoga in my room behind closed doors (mostly for peace and quiet, of course). For some reason, i did not feel like and was not sure what do about the feeling. Went downstairs to my living room and saw this bright sunshine through the large sliding door of my living room opening into my backyard, filling up the entire room with bright light. I felt so calm just looking at it. Sat down on the center rug on the floor. Crossed my legs in the ardh sidh aasan and wow. It was just beautiful. I can not express the difference between what I was doing every day vs this beautiful mesmerizing experience in my living room- almost like outdoors.
So guys take away is, don’t just try to wing it, feel it. If you don’t feel it, find a way to feel it 🙂
