Hoping to break free!

I feel like pouring my heart out but I guess when you write a post about it you still have to filter it to some extent. I should say to a large extent. I am basically an open person but it takes me a while before I can really get to my real self.

Past few days have been very hectic, just like the other past few days. I feel like a machine already. I do not plan to stop though. Just want to make sure I am on the right path. My aim right now is to just incorporate one discipline at a time in my life so I can be ready and prepped up when the time comes to reach heights of anything and everything.

Not sure if I am making sense, but in short I am just juggling things and burning midnight oil… hoping life will get easier once I am on the other side!

My Heritage and Culture

I was born and raised in India as a Hindu with a lot of traditions and rich culture. For some reason,  I was not able to touch the traditions from close but was just able to see them and feel them as life was passing by. Today I am in USA, sitting and wondering what all I missed. I don’t even know it enough to decide if it is “my” belief or “not my” belief.

A few days ago I decided to slowly familiarize myself with whatever i could lay my hands on….. Honestly I had no idea where to begin so I am trying to tap all resources available to me.

Durga mandir is a Hindu temple very close to my house. I was not sure if I believed in it or not and always went there with a skepticism. As I mentioned, a few days ago when I decided to learn about my culture and religion, there was no better place to start from than Durga Mandir. I went thru their curriculum for the remaining year.  Made a list of all the things in the upcoming month. Not bad. It might take me longer now, but at least there is a way.

I am so excited about the programs they have and the good work they are doing to spread the word. I realized faith and belief is very important for one to live, not exist. I see so much bhakti in the people visiting the mandir that I it just makes me want to have what they have. I am just glad I am exploring “my” religion which I was supposedly born with. There is so much to learn. So many great books like vedas and puranas are written which are waiting for me to get amazed by. I am just excited.

Today whether I believe its all Energy or its GOD, or its one and the same thing, I don’t know and I am not here to decide. I just want to know it all and start feeling everything inside me. One thing which I have started feeling already is, I feel much more loved and accepted on this journey than without it.

I am just so ecstatic by just realizing I am going somewhere ………

Thanks to our Ancestors and Gurus who created these rituals and traditions!

Turning point in my life!

About a month ago I attended Sadhguru’s Inner Engineering Camp. I was not sure what I was looking for from the camp – I guess a guided path to peace and something more with “no name”. It was a 2 evenings and 2 full days’ boot camp organized by Sadhguru for seekers like myself – to give them a flavor of what he things will re-wire us. Inner Engineering.

Trust me I was so blissful just being with other seekers. We started with the 2 evenings first with just warming up and listening to good self improvement talks. Then came the 2 full day sessions. Breakfast and lunch was also with other seekers in the camp. Went home every evening.  These four days were the best times of my life I feel. I did something for myself. Got a lot of great pieces back home – discipline,  will power, stability, …

I did not realize the impact of Shambhavi and the pre-exercises when we were practicing in the camp. At home, the next day after the camp was over, I was sorting out how I wanted to proceed from here on (change my life around). I was hoping this urge does not die down. Started Shambhavi and the exercises as told by my instructor in the camp – every morning. Now its more than a month and still doing it every morning. This discipline makes me feel “I got power”. That was not all, I quit my signature “over brewed” Tea I used to have around 3 times a day at least. A few other things are happening which I feel but I am not able to describe them yet.

After my morning Shambhavi routine I feel so ready to take on the world. Frankly its not just that I learnt this kriya (steps) but overall I got an experience at the camp of something very satisfying and I came back stronger – with the tools to help me stay stronger. I think what has happened with this experience is that I am getting ready for a better version of me. You don’t know how it is to quit Chai (“the” tea). Never had the courage to give it up. Its out now. At least as a daily habit its out of my life. Every morning I do Shambhavi like a prayer. I am getting more clear on my decisions and choices in life.

Big “Thank You” to all my Gurus (Ramdevji, Avdoot baba, Shri Mataji, Sadhguru and so many others) and their Gurus who created a path for us so our journey is blissful….

Just so grateful to everyone!